Table 4 Agitation and professional support
DifficultyCarer’s comments
Feeling abandoned‘I was rather down-hearted when the Memory Clinic said, we’ve diagnosed him now…. I mean, they were terribly nice… but they kind of realised that they were dumping us once there had been a diagnosis’. (Daughter FC4)
Knowing what help is available‘If someone was to talk to me about this sort of stuff, it would have really helped, back then… I’ve learned it the hard way, whereas if someone told me… if he gets agitated try this, try that’. (Daughter-in-law FC5)
Barriers to seeking professional help‘You just get on with things, that’s what people of my generation do… You don’t know where to go for help’. (Wife FC9)
Time taken to receive support‘…really all I needed, was just somebody to help… I asked for this in January, the social worker came in April… I need somebody now, not for you to decide in a week’s time whether you’ve got somebody… I got a little bit irate…’ (Wife FC9)
Home and hospital care‘…they had totally unrealistic expectations… they failed to… recognise that they had to look at his physical condition… in the context of him being an old man with dementia’. (Daughter FC4)
‘…she gets really angry if… they talk in their own language [homecarers] …she thinks they’re talking about her’ (Husband FC3)
‘…I mean the carers are, we’ve got… very lucky, a brilliant agency, brilliant management and the carers are… lovely’. (Son FC2)
‘The doctor at the Memory Clinic was excellent, very sympathetic’. (Daughter FC4) ‘…the admiral nurse that comes round, very helpful he is, very, very helpful, you know’. (Wife FC10)